Live Longer.

Six Qualities To Look For In A Great Accountability Partner

For as long as I remember, I preferred working alone. It’s not that I couldn’t work with others, or even that I didn’t like to; I just enjoyed the ability to take things at my own pace, make my own schedule and felt like I could be more creative without anyone else involved. As it turns out, that may not be the most efficient way to get things done; and if you have lofty goals, you may be holding yourself back.

In order to achieve great goals, it is important to be held accountable. When things begin to get tough and you begin to make excuses, an accountability partner or coach can help make sure you stay engaged. Having an accountability partner requires you to accept responsibility for your actions and to make sure that you stay true to your commitments rather than making excuses and putting off important tasks. They can be considered a mentor whom you trust and who can provide guidance or motivation when you feel like coasting in the back seat.

To help keep you committed to accomplishing your goals, it is suggested that you to seek out an accountability partner whose only focus is keeping you on your path and providing you the wisdom and words of encouragement to support you along this journey. Before you start looking for a new partner, here are six key qualities that an accountability partner should possess:

6 Qualities To Look For In An Accountability Partner or Coach

1. Commitment – You can’t have anything meaningful without commitment.

Make a schedule and stick with it. Scheduling a training session with your accountability partner is as serious as vows taken at a wedding; it’s a promise that is meant to last a lifetime. Being tired from a late night out is not valid excuses to miss a session. However, you have to also realize that sometimes real life can get in the way; that’s why it is important to always have a backup plan on which you both agree. That way if an emergency arises, it wouldn’t be too inconvenient for either party. Missing a check in, or workout, not only effects you, but it hurts your training partner as well. Relationships work both ways – trust and value each-other.

2. Promptness – You need to start on time to get things finished on time.

I get it, you have a busy schedule and checking in may not be #1 on your priority list. But guess what, everyone is busy. If you’re late to start, there is a domino effect; and you’re going to be late to finish and then your next meeting or commitment is going to suffer. DON’T BE THAT PERSON THAT HOLDS EVERYONE UP. Expect the unexpected and plan to show up early. If an emergency comes up and you are going to be late; make all other parties involved are aware as soon as possible so they can plan accordingly.

3. Attentiveness – Don’t just hear what someone is saying, make sure they’re listening and can react accordingly.

Whether it is a result of stress from something that occurred yesterday or looking forward to the busy work day ahead, we know that sometime our attention isn’t where it supposed; Details fall through the crack, it happens. Working with someone who is listens to you and helps you clear your mind and focus on the task at hand will make it that much easier. Putting half effort into your workout will give you half results and make you feel even worse when you are done than before you started.

4. Efficiency – Come with a plan and execute; socializing is for the water cooler.

If you choose to work with someone, chances are that you have something in common with them, which can result in getting caught up in prolonged chit-chats. Chatting and socializing too much before business will result in lower productivity and prolong the time before you get to the important items. Save the socializing for the tail end of your conversations to make sure you get the most of your time together.

5. Trust – Know that they are looking out for your best interest.

Trust is on of the most important things when building a relationship; and working with an accountability partner or coach can be considered just that. You need to be able to trust that they are always keep your best interest in mind. When asked personal questions, you have to feel comfortable to answer them honestly so that you can get the most out of each exchange.

6. Observant and Empathetic – Can tell when you’re struggling, having a bad day or on the flip side, doing extra awesome.

Sometimes you’re not going to be at your best. There is chaos going on in your personal life or work life and it’s having a large effect on what you’re trying to accomplish. Having someone that is able to understand what you’re going through is important. They need to be able to see the struggle so know when to push you extra hard or back off a little bit until things clear up. If you do something great, they should be able to acknowledge it and give you props!

When you want to achieve great goals, it is important to be held accountable so that when the road gets tough and you begin to make excuses, an accountability partner or coach can help make sure you stay engaged and on track. Take a moment to think:

What goals do you currently have?

How long have you been working on those goals?

Is anyone close to you aware of your goals?

The Path of Personal Fitness

Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.

~Lao Tzu

These wise words from an ancient philosopher always felt true to me when thinking about “fitness”. Depending on where you are currently in your life, the journey to becoming healthy and fit may seem like a thousand miles away. The origins of this quote comes from a great philosopher of ancient china and the author of the Tao Te Ching (a classic Chinese text written around 6th century BC), Lao Tzu. The text, The Tao Te Ching (translation “The Classic of the Virtuous Way”) is a fundamental text for both philosophical and religious Taoism.

A Quick look at a little Philosophy & Taoism

For our purposes, we will define Philosophy as a set of ideas about how to do something, how to live or the most basic beliefs and concepts of a person. Though there are many philosophers and philosophical beliefs, the one I believe aligns best with personal health and fitness is Taoism.

A rough translation of Taoism:

“Tao” – the way
“-ism” = suffix meaning the act, practice or process of doing something

Although we can form a rough/literal translation of the word, the teaching of Taoism starts by saying “The Tao” is indefinable, but then follows up with each person con discover the Tao in their own terms. WHAT?!?! The confusing part is it’s very definition, however the path to understanding Taoism is to simply accept yourself and discover who you are, live to your heart and flow with life.

A path in life is just a path, not all are necessarily the same; but different paths can lead to the same place. If you landed here on MPTrainingSystems.com, the place we are all trying to reach is optimal physical and mental health; however, since we are all different and unique, our personal path to achieving that goal may be vary. To discover our own personal path and philosophy, we pose four key questions as derived from Jon Mertz at “Thin Difference.com” (he suggests six):

What do you get up each and every morning wanting to do? Refer back to this blog post about goals.
What directs your actions and decisions?
What gives you a sense of satisfaction at the end of the day? This should relate to your personal mission statement.
Why are your beliefs important to you?

Take a moment to reflect on your answer to these four questions. On a piece of paper, or in an electronic document, take note of your personal philosophy. Use these to guide you through the journey of optimizing your mental and physical health. The path best suited for you is the one that best reflects your ideals and beliefs. If you believe in the process, you’re most likely to stick with it all the way through and see the results in which you are looking.

*Resources for this article and to read more about Taoism, check out Personal Tao by Casey, Jewelie & Mina

Goals: The What And Why Behind Our Success

When beginning any workout or diet program, it is important to determine a specific desired outcome. A phrase commonly used when discussing creating goals is: “The key to success in reaching goals is to develop SMART goals”, or some variation of the phrase. If you don’t know, the term SMART is an acronym for the following:

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic
Timely

The SMART goal setting process is put in place to help determine a specific goal in order to create a successful plan; but this is only one part of the equation. The second, and arguably more important part is determining the reason behind the goal; the why. Let’s take a closer to and break down the two parts.

The What = the goal itself

Although the specifics of each person’s fitness goal may vary, each can be categorized in one (or more) of the following; health, performance or aesthetic. Before determining the plan and process of reaching the goal, it is important to know which category the goal fits into.

Health – Improving health or fitness through exercise tends to surface as a primary goal for older adults, particularly those who have settled into a full time career and begin to start a family. The aging process results in a natural functional decline, and if left unmonitored, could cause health related issues. Research has demonstrated regular daily exercise and physical activity can help slow down, or even reverse this process.

Tip: You’d find yourself in this category if your goals included something like: lowering cholesterol, blood pressure and stress levels or increasing daily energy and improve mental state.

Performance – Improving physical performance is a category of goals most common amongst younger, more competitively minded individuals or athletes. The majority of this population is looking for a specified numerical goal, such as; breaking the 300lb bench press mark, to squat or deadlift “X” amount of pounds, run a 40 yard dash in “X.X” seconds, have a vertical jump high enough to dunk on the basketball court or run a marathon in record time.

Aesthetics – Improving aesthetics is all about the look; whether it’s losing a certain amount of pounds for beach season, taking inches off the waistline to fit into a new dress/suit, or building up lagging muscle groups, aesthetic goals are goals of wanting to improve the way your body looks to yourself or others.

Although the “what” goal is a very important part of the game of programming or structuring your workout and nutrition plans, it could be argued that it isn’t the most important part.

The Why = the reason behind the goal

The real motivation and inspiration is the “why” goal. Why do you want to get healthy, improve your performance or change your body? While it appears to be a simple question, it’s often the hardest one to actually answer and can take some serious time reflecting on what is important in your life. For example:

Health goals: usually wanting to get healthier in order to be able to play with their kids as they grow up, take better care of the family and watch them succeed as adults.

Performance goals: hitting 20 reps of 225 can help the chances of getting drafted to the NFL. A specific number goal typically ties to another career or personal goal in life.

Aesthetic goals: weight loss or muscle gain related goals can stem from low self-confidence or self-worth. These individuals are typically looking for approval of others to validate feeling better about themselves.

Two people with the same goal of losing 10 pounds, or hitting a personal record for squatting may have vastly different reasons behind why that particular goal is important to them; and while it is important to determine the reason behind to goal, it’s also important to keep in mind that there is no right or wrong. This is the motivating factor that gets you out of bed and to the gym each day, it’s what keep you making healthy choices throughout the day and avoiding the temptations that are all around us.

What is your motivating factor that drives you to reach your goals? Take 2-3 minutes each day to reflect on your goals and the reasons behind them.

How would you feel when you reach your goals?
How would you feel if you were unable to accomplish your goal?
How would your life be different if you did or didn’t not reach these goals?

Once you determine the why, you’re that much closer and your goals will become clearer and more attainable.

Setting Your Mind For Success

To succeed, you need to find something to hold on to, something to motive you, something to inspire you.

Tony Dorsett

It can be argued that cultivating a positive mindset is the single most important thing you can do to help achieve success. It puts you on the right path to reaching your ultimate goal. Whether the goal is to lose weight, increase strength, or obtaining a certain professional status, being able to reach that goal first starts by the belief that it can be accomplished.

When establishing goals, we typically use the acronym S.M.A.R.T., which stands for: Smart, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-limited. Although this is a great way to determine a short term goal, we are more interested in finding the driving force behind reaching each goal, the why.

Rather than focusing on an outcome and a singular goal, we want to look at the bigger picture and find the motivating factor that can be used to reach ALL of your goals. Think of it as more of a mission statement. Like in business, a mission statement summarizes who you are and provides you with the context that drives you to who you want to become.

What’s the one thing that is calling you to action right now to make a change; the thing that motivates you to get out of bed in the morning and be productive.

Whether your thoughts are negative or positive, they can directly effect your decisions and actions. By constantly repeating your mission statement and focusing on the positive driving force in your life, you are reminded of what you believe in, keeping the mind focused on the end result and preparing you for your tasks of the day.

Creating your own personal mission statement:

Select which aspect of your life that it most important to you at the moment.
- Health or physical performance
- Emotional well-being
- Work performance, career development, education
- Relationships or social support
- Spirituality
Create a list of 10 qualities that you believe are important to creating success in the respective aspect of life chosen.
Reflect for 5-10 minutes on those qualities you’ve selected.
Circle 3 that stand out to you the most.
Write down a short, repeatable phrase that captures these 3 words in an overall goal. Keep it under 10 words total so that it’s easy to remember.

Once you’ve created this phrase, post it somewhere that you look each day. It could be on your refrigerator, bathroom mirror, at your bedside or on a note in your cell phone.

Although the process singles out one aspect of life in determining your mission statement, it is possible that your personal phrase can fall into multiple categories. There is no need to be too specific, but try to spotlight your ideals and what is important in your life at this moment, so don’t be too broad either. As major milestones in your life pass, it is a good idea to revisit your statement. What is important to you now might not be important to you 5 years down the road.